What a day

I swear every day it's something new for me. First my mom had the nerve to kick me out the house. She told me when she leave the house in the morning I need to be out her house till 5 p.m looking for a job. I was like yeah what ever. I was just talking though because I got my butt got up and out that house. If didn't know now, well now you know, my mom is crazy. Scratch that she is psycho.lol
Upon my return home from my job search i ask her to pick me up and she had the nerve to say "no get yo butt on the bus". I must have hung up the phone so quick. I was so mad. One it was pouring down raining,I had on some open toed shoes and a dress on and last but not least I had to take the bus. Smh So when I get home,a piece of mail stated that I was eligible to work for their company. I shouted with joy. They were paying $16 an hour and all you had to do is call and schedule an interview. Now this offer did sound a little to good to be true. So I decided to look up the company, because my bestie told me she got the same letter. So i Google Vector (the company) and the results said if you have received any information about a job offer from Vector it is a SCAM!!!. All I could say is what a day what a day.. lol

I think im bout to be living in Atl..

As me and my mom discuss plans for next year she says," we goin put you in an apartment because me nor your dad can afford that tuition". Im glad she said it because I couldn't agree with her more. Now the problem is figuring out how im going to sustain a nice hair due without sweating it out every minute I stand in that Altanta heat. LOL But really I'm more worried about how I'm going to keep up with the rent, since I haven't to find a job yet.....???????? Welp gotta get back on my grind with job hunting starting tomorrow.

Random ransom

uuuugggggghhhhh i can't go to slleeeeepppppp .. I don't know what's troubling my mind,but i wish it would stop....
My nights have turned into my days and my days into nights... This is not healthy for me. Somebody HHeeeeelllllpp mmmmeeee lol


Well Night... =)

Why do we say Amen ? What does it mean?

I never thought I would question my religion, but for some reason today I did. As me and my mother was sitting at the table about to eat, i told her to pray. Then when we were done; the question popped up why do we always say amen when we finish our prayer? What does Amen mean? So I took the time to Google search and find more information. It is said that “Amen” is a Hebrew word that stems from the word aman, which means “to be faithful, support, or confirm.” The word “amen” actually means, “so be it,” or “truly.” It is an affirmation of the dedication to God through Jesus Christ. To me words mean nothing. Just because you say amen doesn't really mean your dedicated to god. The actions that you portray on earth speaks louder than the simple word amen. We only say Amen because that's what we are taught to say. But no one has ever bothered to think about why we actually say Amen.

What is your take on this topic?

Slick move mom

So my mom went to the store to buy a baby monitor for my grandpa, so she can hear when he gets up at night. So she call her self being slick by placing the receiving monitor under my bed while i was on my computer in the living room. So, as i laid my sweet little head down to sleep and i start to hear movement as if someone was in my room. I looked around the room in terror. It made me think of all scary movies I every watched and all the possibilities that could have happened to me..lol smh Some how i over came that fear, because the next thing I is my mom talking through a speaker like object. As she kept talking it made it easy for me to find out what little slick trick she did. Her lil slick butt planted the receiver monitor under my bed.. NICE MOVE MOM..



ya gotta love em

Respect, Love, and Trust

After reading Tiary's blog, I found most of them to be self relating. The blog that I really enjoyed, was the blog titled The Essence of Love. She primarily talked about how she wants to try to respect, love and trust herself before she allows her self to do the same to a significant other. I think every girl at some point wants to accomplish these things before they begin a relationship. But the question is how many girls actually take the time to do this before a relationship? From what I have observed, experienced and have been told most females tend to realize that they need to respect, love and trust their self after they have been hurt, beat, cheated on, used only for sex or money, lied to consistently etc. If you respected, loved and trusted your self you wouldn’t let some one who told you they loved you treat you like you’re worth nothing. If you took the time to understand your self, then you would avoid situations that end in regret.
So a ladies love, respect, and trust your selves before trying to do the same for a man; it’s only lowering your self esteem.
Self esteem is the key to confidence and is also the key to helping you love, trust and respect yourself.

Jobless no more

So on Tuesday I received my first job as a paper carrier.. Man I swear I wish someone could have recored my reaction when I walked out the door and got in the car. My face was priceless. (Hey times is hard and i been waiting a long time for a job) I was cheesin soooooo hard you would have thought I was using some kind of narcotics..lol It was simple and easy. All that was required was my name, adress, social secruity number and the date. Im thinking in my mind that's it and THAT WAS IT. lol Just when i thought filling out 20 applications was sooo tedious, here comes this application that only asks for five things. Till this day all I can say is" It was only GOD, he always answers my prayers on time and has never failed me."

This is what he told me would happen if we ever....

Before I began to discuss what this young man wrote me, I gotta give him his props because this story just open your eyes up to a world of fantasy. I swear this story will have your eyes glued to the screen. Enjoy!

well first id turn off the lights!!! and light a candle, get the slowjams runnin of course have to approach ya on the bed...we both already know whats good snuggle up to ya start kissin on ya neck slowly but purposefully then look deep into your eyes then make my way down toward your chest, purposefully avoiding your breasts straight down stopping for a second right above your belly button only to continue twoards your panty line and reverse kissing you all the way back up your body to your lips where we kiss for a moment that feels like forever. we stop. I look at you as if ive wanted you forever. you look back as if you dont know whats going to happen next.and I say be right back i have a surprise for you...blindfold you for a minute and return 5 mins later. your still on the bed eagerly waiting for my return. i say im back...i continue to caress you as if i never left. you begin to take off the blindfold i tell you no the surprise isnt over yet.you begin to feel something cold as i take vanilla icecream and carefully spread it on your breasts that react by becoming harder than i am. to make matters worse and to completely throw you off i take the caramel and pour some on my finger and put it in your mouth. You love how sweet it is and cant wait till its your turn to do the teasing. I begin to lick the icecream off your breasts as if i was a 5yr old eating his first cone. Realizing how much this is turning you on i take my time with it. As you realize that the cold sensation is gone you say are you done? i reply not even close.already knowing what this means. you wonder how it would feel to be eaten with icecream not knowing that im looking forward to this more than you are. i apply both the icecream and the caramel to you right above your vagina knowing it will begin to melt and drip down. You quiver from the temperature, i sit back an observe the meal im about to have, watching as the sweet caramel mixes with the sweet juices already secreting from you. i planned to take my time with this but i just couldnt help myself it looked sooo good! so i dive in to the moisture like i used to during lifegaurd training facefirst ready for a good time. you begin to moan wildy because youve never been eaten like this before. as i lick up the last drop upset that its all done. i say to you your turn.knowing you want to do the same your mind says grab the icecream and caramel, your hormones say fuck that and fuck him. stuck in between the two you grab both the caramel and my penis simultaneously. Not caring about anything getting messed up you begin to ooze caramel all over my chest abs down towards my penis. Not in a straight line, no in the most confusing intricate path of all time. Why? because you plan to follow and lick up every drop of caramel that was drizzled. you begin to lick it all up, every last bit following the trail until you reach the tip of my penis. You contemplate whether you should stay here or not. Im so ready to be inside you that i dont let you come to a decision. I grab you from on top of me and reverse positions before you know whats happened.Stunned and confused because youve never seen this side of me you look up at me like who are you. Determined and ready i look down at you with a smirk because i know the party is just beginning. I grab a magnum from out of my jeans thinking it has never been a such a good sight before now. I strap it on and force myself in b4 you were ready which puts a blank look on your face. You begin to brace yourself for the roughest sex youve ever had. I on the other hand have other intentions...for now.Satisfied that i finally know what its like to be one with you, i know that i can actually go crazy on you. so as i search for another condom you begin to leave the room. i strap on the next one an catch your arm right as you get to the door. You thought we were done and wanted to clean up i knew it was only round one n wanted to switch it up.so i pick you up and carry you back to the bed. no longer on my romantic flow instead of placing you on the bed i throw you on the bed. you land facedown and lookback like damn theres more? you no longer have any doubts about my imagination and are willing to comply. You ask in your cute/sexy voice what do you want me to do?i reply...i want it from the back, NOW. realizing that this will no longer be like the loving you had just a few minutes ago, you brace yourself, rightfully so this time. I begin slowly picking up pace as i go along. At first youre just enjoying it on all fours feeling your worries go away, but then you contribute to the stroke. Your thrust and mine moving simultaneously in tune with eachother making each thrust twice as intense...i feel as if im deeper in someone than ive ever been. you feel as if im tearing you apart, your moans grow louder but that just feuls my rage. i feel my body go in to overdrive and move my left hand to grab your hair for leverage my right hand loses control and grabs your lucious ass tighter than it was already holding it. we go at it hard and strong. sweat dripping all over our bodies. you look back at me seeing if fatigue had set in yet. but im determined to get as many thrusts in as possible. my will holds out for as long as i can, but after another few hrs i cant hold any longer. i cum inside of you once again and you cum once again long and hard. as i pull out liquids drip from you and me. i look deep into your eyes and ask are you satisfied? you reply more than satisfied and begin to kiss me. we kiss slowly and passionately having out sexual needs met we sensually kiss until you pass out in my arms from exhaustion. I kiss your forehead goodnight and have the best sleep of my life.

Hollywood's on my mind

So I went to go see "killers" today and it turned out to be a pretty good movie. Not as funny as this white lady made it seem like but it was okay. Now when I see movies that i think could have been performed a little better,I always say to myself I could have played that role better or made the movie better with my ad-lib. Then I think to myself what am i doing to get myself in the entertainment business? obviously nothing because I haven't been auditioning.When I was younger I use to be shy to talk in front of complete strangers but now that I have over came that fear I think I am ready. The thing that really boosted my confidence was the reaction and responses from the audience when I played Tituba a Barbados slave in one of the plays my senior year. Right after the show all I heard was "wow you did a wonderful job", "where have you been hiding" "you played the voice so well I really thought you were from Barbados". Next thing you know all you heard come streaming out my mouth was "Watch out Hollywood here I come". Lowkey I even posted a sheet of paper on my wall saying that I was the next hottest actress and that's what i'm going to be.

You think ill make it ?

Is History going to repeat its self?

So after I read my friend tiff blog's about black power and how she looks at things differently now due to being in the AUC, I found myself doing the same thing. Since my mom didn't want to take me job hunting, I had to take the bus. After I sat down near the front, I noticed that all the black people sat in the back or in the seat right in front of the back door and the white people in the front. Now if I come correct Rosa Parks fought for blacks to sit in the front of the bus. It was her along with the other black people during the bus boycott that sacrificed their jobs just for equality. SO WHY THE HELL! are we still sitting in the back of the bus. I swear it seems like every thing that our ancestors fought for is being misused by our generation. That's just like young black men that are abusing and misusing their free education by trying to sell drugs, become part of a gang, or feel that they don't need school for their future career(such as a rapper). Sometimes i worry about what the future of our race is going to be like.

Never let your guard down

I went to friend of a friends 21 bday party... so you know of course every body was drinking since the bday girl was legally able to drink. As i was sitting at the table wit my home girl and the bday girl's grandpa. I already knew he had a few sips cuz this oooolldddd asss man had the nerve to ask me for my number while his wife was Standing 10 feet away. I was so shocked and couldn't believe my ears. I mean the man was just talking to us about not trusting anything that has a mind and here he is tryna get my number smh. He repeatedly just kept saying "you a million dollar baby. You aint got no kids, ya single and you beautiful". but besides the point that he was tryna holla at me, he had a good point about not trusting anything with mind of it's own.

Anything with a mind can manipulate you, try to control you,and ravage your thoughts. When the grandpa pulled that slick move trying to get my number, that showed me right there that you really can't even trust someone you love because the ones that are close to you know u, and understand the way you think. So they can manipulate you and make you think other wise. It's so weird because it kinda happened to me numerous times in relationships especially with my first.I had been talking to my first from 8th grade till maybe my junior year of high school. Now back then i was super young and dumb cuz my mom didn't let me go no where. Me and the street life of a kid were as far apart as cali is from florida. I was clueless. I was just feeding off of all his lies and it was like i already knew that he was cheating.I didn't care though because he told me one thing and i believed him but he was doing the total opposite of what he was telling me . Over the years i have progressed and kinda understand the make species more. I feel the more I hang around them the more i understand the ways they think, which can def. help me in the long run. Most guys are simple. So most think the same, act the same and want the same things. There very competitive. So if they see something they like they're going to go out their way to get it and make sure it's better . Main point is never let your guard down. When you let your guard down your letting a person find your weakness. Weakness = vulnerability

Travis Porter in the building ... oooohhh

Soooo today when I walked my grandpa for his daily walk, the song "Adidas" by Travis porter came on and it brought back sooooo many memories. Back then it was just Ed,Eddy and Jeff. Man oh man. I gotta give thanks to my ride or die nigga jeff for putting me on Travis porter tho. I swear im just super hooked on them now lol... thannnkkksss booo =* Im gonna miss freshman year so muuuuccchhhh!!!! Im ready to go back to the atl already and it's only june .. smh The college life got me hooked.

Searching for a job

So i have been looking for a job since i been up here. i guess luck doesn't run my way because i have yet to to hear from a job since i been here. I thought it was just me at first; until everybody i talked to said they are still trying to find a job too. Then i realized how bad our economy is still in a recession. I think that it's a shame that my mom has to pay me out of her pocket to watch my grandpa, just so i can have some money. I also feel so dependent because i have never actually had a real job and im 18 goin on 19. smh I don't know what i'm goin to do. I guess all i can do now is pray and hope that god will bless me with a good paying job, so i can go back to school next semester =/.

Old school VS New school

So the other day i was blasting my music while i was on the computer and as soon as my mom heard pussy, fuck or i wanna sex you up and lick you down she started trippin. Now mind you today's Hip Hop is the same as her little old school music she be listening to back in her day. The only difference is, that in today's music rappers and singers are just more blunt with it and real. I wanted to just treat her life; likeee mom if you don't get a grip, it aint even that serious. Cuz i know she would be singing some "ahhhhh iisssshhh puussshhh it pushhh it real good" by salt and pepper if that song came on. Which is talking about a man pushing his penis in her vagina. Sooo i think if she can listen to that mess, i should be able to listen to my music without her saying a word.. But I already know my mom will be her and she aint goin ever change.